Beyond Thinking

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. There’s an all-time saying: “Everything has a purpose”. I guess I heard this over a thousand times from different people. Person who try to console someone after a tragedy. Someone who try to convince a friend that there’s someone better to come after he gets dumped. Or someone who try to cheer himself up by saying, I know God has a reason for this and I should not give up. I wish I could really understand what they’re trying to say because I was in the darkest spot and my life was so miserable. I was in the dark as early as I haven’t passed through my innocence stage, when I’m supposed to play and carefree, when I’m supposed not to carry any burden and just play hide and seek. When my supposed to be problem as a child is how to convince my mother to buy me a new dress or shoes. To cry over a spilled milk or an ice cream vendor that I’ve over...

To let go is to release… Of what makes you less Of what’s not essential Of what makes you crucial Of what makes you impatient Of what makes you imprudent Of what makes you weary Of what makes you angry. To let go is to forgive… Of whom we don’t believe Of whom we fight Of whom who misjudged Of whom we hated Of whom we don’t wanted Of whom we hurt Of whom that hurt us. To let go is to accept… When it’s time to precept When it’s time to repair When it’s time to prepare When it’s time to eradicate When it’s time to cultivate When it’s time to change When it’s time to move on. To let go is not necessarily to say goodbye But to sing for a new lullaby To kiss away the hoary unnecessary things And embrace the new and more vital gears To let go of all the baggage in our heart So we can begin a lighter start To have a joyful journey through the road of eternity To grow in God’s word and abide in Him faithfully. By: BAM 2/19/15

I am reposting my very first blog, written 3 years ago. I wonder what have been change...well I guess none except for some craziness that had happened. LOL! Well this is still me.. I like quotes… I love poems... I even wrote some with or without inspiration… I used to write about my feelings… even before I’ve learned texting and write emails…I write about anything to unload my burden or even cry sometimes coz it’s the easiest way to release everything in me…and to escape from the real world…! Sounds like crazy but that’s what I am… I even love to listen to sob stories, read romantic novels, watch romantic movies & imagine myself as the lead character…hahaha….I’m a hopeless romantic… writing is my passion even though I’m not sure if I really know how to write… I don’t have the confidence I must admit it….I love long talks though I’m silent most of the time…I like talking about life and it’s purpose. I guess it’s my obsession, finding the purpose of my existence in this world. I use...

As I open my eyes today I realized I have to stay away Sleepless nights should go Crying moments no more Just one thing I wish for That from this day and the coming days Would be better than Yesterday ... Here's another fave song of mine...It's really a cool song...

Sometimes we tend to hold on to what’s impossible…trying to rewrite an old story that’s already become a legend, hoping that we can change the ending. Sometimes life is like a book, you can make your own ending but you can never make another chapter after its END . I’d like to share this video for people out there. I know most of you can relate to this…

“You feel that way because that person is the one who’s filling the void.” I was stunned, I stop crying for a while. Maybe my friend was right. Another change is happening and I don’t know how to react…she said it’s understandable, it’s normal. I feel sad, I felt terrible. One thing I realized, I’m scared to be alone again. People’s life is filled of unending void. No matter what we do, there will still be something to fill, something to change. Sometimes we cling on something or someone that fills the void in our life. Doesn’t matter if it’s the right thing or the right person, what matter is: “They fill the void.” But what will you do if the one who fills the void is consuming so much of your space that you can’t breathe anymore? I realized that life is not only about filling the void. What still matters most is what we really want to do with our life and what makes us truly happy. Not because they fill the void means they’re the one for us. Sometimes the one who fill the ...

I was suppose to write since lots of things are running through my head right now, But I was too disoriented that I can't find the right words to start... I found this from someone's bulletin, somehow it gives me some light... 1. Do not worry if you make mistakes. Making mistakes is one way we can learn and improve in our life. There is no one that has never made any mistake. The most important thing here is you realize that you have made mistakes and do not repeat the same mistakes again. You learn more from mistakes you have made than any other way. 2. Feel happy about your life. Happiness generates more positive energy within you. This energy is important to keep you more optimistic and enthusiastic about your life. Happy people are always motivated to accomplish something in their life. 3. Get out of your comfort zone. You need to learn to get into unfamiliar surroundings to explore better opportunities. Do not just stick around with the same people, same known places, skil...

Just a thought: “If the HEART is the only broken thing that still works, then LOVE is the feeling a person can’t live without.” It sounds like odd to me coz I used to deny love in my life. But now I have no idea what comes into me that I’ve thought of that quote. My life has been full of struggles and pain that made me become bitter and cautious, insensitive and impatient. I have promised myself not to let somebody hurt me, that’s why I’m not giving a single chance in any form of love that will attempt to knock in my wary heart. I used to laugh at my friends when they come and cry because of those stupid guys they have love. I just don’t understand why despite of all the protest, infidelity and all those things that have caused their heartaches they still end up being with the guy. Well call me naïve but maybe it’s because I don’t feel the way they do. Not until I’ve discovered myself in a situation almost as the same of my friends before. I used to believe no one can ever make ...

So, yesterday was my first day of work in my new job. Well actually the job is not new to me coz I am still working in an Internet shop...haha! But I still say it's new coz it's a new shop, new environment, new customers and a new BOSS! I am really very thankful that I'm working again. After contemplating for couple of months on what to do, I have decided to stay near my family and rejected my old boss's offer to be assign in Bacolod office. It's been hard for me to choose because it's like I'm choosing between my family and my future. I know I lost another opportunity but I really can't bear to leave my family for so many reasons. This new job is a blessing in disguise because it gave me more reason not to leave. I am very very thankful to God and to my friends who supported my decision and helping me during my hardest times. So now people, I am back on track again!!! God Bless everyone!

Its funny how someone promise forever without realizing that nothing in the world is certain… It’s funny how we find many friends during parties, but found no one during our down moment… It’s funny how people get too possessive of something or someone they don’t even own… It’s funny how people still can manage to laugh, after a painful heartbreak… It’s funny how someone could be good on taking care of others, while that person also needs someone to take care of them… It’s funny how people knew what is right, but keep on doing what is wrong… It’s funny that we knew we could hurt someone in the first place, but still do it and just say sorry afterwards… It’s funny that sometimes the reason of people’s happiness is by doing the wrong thing… It’s funny how people claim that they’re in love, but doesn’t know the true meaning of it… It’s funny how we ask for too much, but doesn’t work hard to achieve it… It’s funny how we blame God for our hardships, but forgets to thank ...

Have you ever felt like you’re floating in the air? Like you felt like there’s nowhere to go and you think about so many things endlessly that you would only feel so frustrated in the end because you end up thinking all the worst. That’s what happened to me a month ago…been shocked with the sudden turned of events in my life. So, what I’m afraid of already happened…so suddenly…so fast! I know I should have been prepared for it coz I saw it’s really coming. But I guess when you hold things back because you’ve been so attached to it, no matter how prepared you are…you will still feel frustrated and sad when it’s really time to let go. So I guess there is really no preparing for letting go of things because emotions can be unpredictable most of the time…when it flows, it flows! It’s just a matter of how we accept things…and for me, I just thought about it that maybe, it’s really time for a CHANGE! One morning, I woke up not hurrying for work anymore and there’s no report that I have ...

“Behind the dark clouds, the sun is still shining”. “When a door closed, another window opens”. I have known these quotes long ago, but I tend to forget it every time I feel despair with my life. I do believe in God but pessimism covers my whole being when things around me doesn’t turn out right and makes me feel more miserable. I don’t understand why I fret so much to the extent that I almost lose my sanity. But anyway I won’t make a fuss on why I’m like this because it will only give me further headache. I just want to share a beautiful story to everyone and I hope it will touch your heart as it touches mine… A good reminder of God's Love. Every Sunday afternoon, after the morning service at the church, the Pastor and his eleven year old son would go out into their town and hand out Gospel Tracts. This particular Sunday afternoon, as it came time for the Pastor and his son to go to the streets with their tracts, it was very cold outside, as well as pouring down rain. The bo...

It’s been a while since my last blog, I’ve been pre occupied thinking about recent events in my life. I know I could have all the more reason to write since I am in my depressing moment again but laziness attacks me…lol! I am actually losing all my energy when I feel down or disappointed. Okay, aside from some issues at home which I think I have no control anymore and that makes me feel upset, lately I’ve been worrying about losing my job because I can see it’s really coming. Major problems are getting on the way and I think this will really be our last year here. But I’m still hoping that something will happen, that all what I’m worrying for is wrong. God, I really love my job and I spent almost half of my life here. So it will really break my heart seeing its closure…:( But then if all my fears are true, I should get myself ready for the changes. Anyway life has full of changes all the time. It’s just that it’s so hard to leave things you have learned to love and became a part...

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON , it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. Some people come into your life for a SEASON , because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an exper...

"All my life, I have accepted everything because I believe in this: “Everything happens for a reason”. The hardest part is: “Finding out what the reason is.” This text message woke me up so early in the morning. It’s from a friend who never fails to strike me with her text messages. It’s always like, there are hidden meaning with those words. Well I do agree with that message. Everything happens for a reason whether the reason is good or bad. I guess I am one of those people who often find for the reason in everything that happens in my life. I know for a fact that even the opening of our eyes in the morning has a reason. The falling of the leaves…the raindrops fall…the setting of the sun…a heartbreak… I remember long time ago, I asked an older friend what’s the purpose of a person’s existence here on earth. I don’t exactly remember her answer but I remember she said that “people exist because of people too…people needs people…like you can say, you exist because I need you and vic...

“One a cheater, always a cheater!” Do you believe in this? Well this was the subject of our discussion when I was out the other night with my friends. That was fun and healthy argument regarding a man’s infidelity. I find it amusing talking about it with guys around. Of course it is expected that they will defend themselves. But why does a man cheat? Who’s really at fault? Who’s to be blame when a man looks for another woman even if they’re already married or have a girlfriend? I guess there is no man who admits their mistakes without making excuses…and worst, sometimes it is the woman they’re blaming why they cheat! Its bullshit really! That makes a man really stupid! Why would they put the blame to women when it’s them who made a mistake? There are so many alibis they will make just to justify their foolishness. They will say that women nag all the time. Well I guess a woman won’t nag if there’s no reason to nag for…another issue is lack of time. But who’s out of the house...

“SLEEP…for others: A form of rest, a routine, refreshment, a quiet moment for the mind and body, or perhaps a hobby. But Psychology tells us that: It is one of the most common forms of ESCAPE...from loneliness, sadness, frustrations, rejections and from almost any problem possible. So next time when a friend frequently sleeps, Say: “if you need someone to talk to, I’m just here. I’ll listen.” Rather than saying: “sweet dreams”. There are times that I wish I could sleep more…or wishing that when I fall asleep, I won’t be able to wake up again. I know it’s a bad thinking but sometimes I do really wish I could sleep forever so that I won’t be able to think again. I’m tired of thinking because I don’t know what to think anymore. I am afraid that I will come to a point of losing my sanity because of thinking too much…I guess I rather die than going crazy. I just want to sleep and not to feel anything anymore. I don’t want to feel the emptiness that covers my whole being. How could I...

My heart is in trouble It’s going to explode any minute It’s hard to explain what I’m feeling I don’t even know where it’s leading. It’s more than stupidity Much even more than craziness This is all beyond my limit I’m more than hurting I have to admit. My mind is disrupting too much thinking It’s overflowing, nearly breaking I don’t want to think anymore There’ll be nothing in store.