Beyond Thinking

“Behind the dark clouds, the sun is still shining”. “When a door closed, another window opens”. I have known these quotes long ago, but I tend to forget it every time I feel despair with my life. I do believe in God but pessimism covers my whole being when things around me doesn’t turn out right and makes me feel more miserable. I don’t understand why I fret so much to the extent that I almost lose my sanity. But anyway I won’t make a fuss on why I’m like this because it will only give me further headache. I just want to share a beautiful story to everyone and I hope it will touch your heart as it touches mine… A good reminder of God's Love. Every Sunday afternoon, after the morning service at the church, the Pastor and his eleven year old son would go out into their town and hand out Gospel Tracts. This particular Sunday afternoon, as it came time for the Pastor and his son to go to the streets with their tracts, it was very cold outside, as well as pouring down rain. The bo...

It’s been a while since my last blog, I’ve been pre occupied thinking about recent events in my life. I know I could have all the more reason to write since I am in my depressing moment again but laziness attacks me…lol! I am actually losing all my energy when I feel down or disappointed. Okay, aside from some issues at home which I think I have no control anymore and that makes me feel upset, lately I’ve been worrying about losing my job because I can see it’s really coming. Major problems are getting on the way and I think this will really be our last year here. But I’m still hoping that something will happen, that all what I’m worrying for is wrong. God, I really love my job and I spent almost half of my life here. So it will really break my heart seeing its closure…:( But then if all my fears are true, I should get myself ready for the changes. Anyway life has full of changes all the time. It’s just that it’s so hard to leave things you have learned to love and became a part...

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON , it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. Some people come into your life for a SEASON , because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an exper...

She is a 24-year old copywriter. He is an architect. They met and became lovers in college. They broke up last year but remained to be "friends." They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she's okay. They still date. They still have sex. They don't see anyone else. It is obvious that they still love each other but when asked about their situation, she doesn't know the real score. Even her friends are in the dark. "Parang sila, pero hindi." She works in a telecom. He is reviewing for the board. They are in the same barkada. They talk on the phone till 4 am. He gives her chocolates, flowers and CDs even when there is no occasion. Their friends are suspecting something. Bakit sila nagsosolo kapag may overnight inuman? Why does he hold her close on the dance floor? Bakit sila magkaholding hands lagi? Sila kaya? "He hasn't admitted anything," she rants. "But I let him hug and kiss me. Parang kami, pero hindi....

Finally I have awaken That long dream I had mistaken Someone was there for me from nowhere Promise a love that seems forever. Finally I have awaken I’ve dream too much I was fascinated Someone made me believe made me fall Fallen too deep yet the chance was small. Finally I have awaken Made me believe then I was forsaken I have been fooled just been a toy My heart is in pain fully destroyed. Finally my eyes have opened That dream seems so real it was deceiving Perhaps I’ve found the one that worth loving Such an innocent fool I’ve come believing. Finally my long dream was over Surely will take me so long to recover Indeed not a wonderful dream but a nightmare Drives me insane and put my heart to a vast scare.

I don't understand why I really love this song. I first hear it from one of my favorite movie. I know this is an old song but hearing it makes me feel calm...maybe it’s because of the song's melody that soothes the soul. Actually, I didn't know this song's title until a friend of mine sings it to me. Lol! It’s so cute! Michael Buble' is so perfect for this song added the fact that he's so cute! Hahaha! Listen guys, I know you’ll love it. ;) This song is an all time favorite.

Imagine your life without a friend…I can’t imagine…hahaha! I think it would be a dull life. Aside from our family, God gave us friends to complete our life’s journey. Friends are there to listen to all what we want to say that we can’t tell our parents. They’re there to listen, gives help, comfort us when we feel down and sometimes just too simply hang around. Sometimes we seem much closer with our friend than with our family. Friends understand us more than our family. Sad to say, friends have that understanding regarding us that our family doesn’t have. Maybe it’s because we spend more time with our friend. Come to think of it, when we’re still in school we spent more time with our friends than with our parents and siblings…and even after school friends would come along to our house or we come along to their house. The time we spent with them for almost the whole day seems not enough. That’s how significant a friend is in our life. Then the time will come that we have to go o...

"All my life, I have accepted everything because I believe in this: “Everything happens for a reason”. The hardest part is: “Finding out what the reason is.” This text message woke me up so early in the morning. It’s from a friend who never fails to strike me with her text messages. It’s always like, there are hidden meaning with those words. Well I do agree with that message. Everything happens for a reason whether the reason is good or bad. I guess I am one of those people who often find for the reason in everything that happens in my life. I know for a fact that even the opening of our eyes in the morning has a reason. The falling of the leaves…the raindrops fall…the setting of the sun…a heartbreak… I remember long time ago, I asked an older friend what’s the purpose of a person’s existence here on earth. I don’t exactly remember her answer but I remember she said that “people exist because of people too…people needs people…like you can say, you exist because I need you and vic...

Someone has advised me to have this blog and since I am too lazy working on the web I really have to force my ass to do this. ..and since I want all the post to be original, (naks!) I am reposting all my work from my old blog...:) Hope you'll enjoy reading guys!

“One a cheater, always a cheater!” Do you believe in this? Well this was the subject of our discussion when I was out the other night with my friends. That was fun and healthy argument regarding a man’s infidelity. I find it amusing talking about it with guys around. Of course it is expected that they will defend themselves. But why does a man cheat? Who’s really at fault? Who’s to be blame when a man looks for another woman even if they’re already married or have a girlfriend? I guess there is no man who admits their mistakes without making excuses…and worst, sometimes it is the woman they’re blaming why they cheat! Its bullshit really! That makes a man really stupid! Why would they put the blame to women when it’s them who made a mistake? There are so many alibis they will make just to justify their foolishness. They will say that women nag all the time. Well I guess a woman won’t nag if there’s no reason to nag for…another issue is lack of time. But who’s out of the house...

Wish I could make you happy But not because I look so silly Wish I could make you smile Make all the days worthwhile. Wish I could fill the emptiness That causes all your sadness Wish I could take away the pain Ease your heart and sanity remain. Wish I could be the one you miss each day The one you always wanted to stay Wish I could give you all the love The love you always want to have. Wish I could make all these dreams come true Though it’s clearly impossible to do I couldn’t do best but just wish Pray to God that you’ll always be at ease.

In the world that’s full of madness You suddenly came to ease my sadness You take me out of my shell Where I used to mourn and nothing to tell. I’m a person without dreams and ambition But then you show the way to my destination You’re my savior and protector Somebody that I’ve never had before. You made me smile and laugh again Seems I forget because of so much pain You take all my worries apart Made me secure without fear in my heart. My life has so much fun with you Can’t imagine a day without you You’re just too good and so true I thank God coz he made you. Date written -- July 27, 1999 Dedicated to all my FRIENDS… :)

How will I know why You were never satisfy For all the things I know That made my love show. We’ve been so happy before Walking and laughing by the shore Never imagine it would last But everything happened so fast. I gave you so much love I thought it will be enough But why there’s in your eyes I can see something in disguise. Then suddenly you are gone Wondering what I have done Why you disappear without saying goodbye Left me all alone wanted to die. How will I know now That you’ve love me somehow You don’t even said a word Just left me and ruin my world. How can I tell you my love You really hurt me so bad There’s nothing left for me But a heart full of misery. Date written: 1-21-1999

Oh foolish heart how could you be so cruel to me? Oh foolish heart when will you set me free? When will this craziness end? How will you mend? Oh foolish heart how could you overcome my mind? How can you be so stubborn? My foolish heart when will you stop beating? For a person not worth keeping. Oh foolish heart when will you take a rest? Take me away from all distress Oh foolish heart please listen to me Take me back to where I used to be.

Paano mo hahanapin ang taong wla? Paano mo hihintayin ang hindi naman darating? Paano mo masasabing ika'y nasasabik Gayong siya'y hindi mo pa nakikita? Paano mo mamahalin gayong hindi mo pa nasisilayan? Pag-ibig nga ba'y sadyang ganyan? O baka naman ang tao'y sadyang bulag lamang? Akala ay pag-ibig yun pala'y isang pangarap lamang.

You’re just a toy Expect to be dump. You’re just like dirt Expect to be avoided. You’re just a shock absorber Expect to be left behind. You don’t mean anything Expect the worst thing. You’re not loved at all It’s your fault if you fall.

What could be more painful than heartbreak? What could be more stupid than letting go of someone you never had? Should I be glad coz you made me fall? Should I be thankful coz i’ve felt this after all? I hate myself for letting this happened I never imagine I’ll get through this… I hate being foolish & stupid… Now, tell me how to mend a broken heart???

Walk away like nobody seems to care Walk away but don’t think it’s unfair Stop holding on, it’s more hurtful to go on So walk away though it’s breaking your heart. Walk away don’t ever look back Bear the pain, don’t ever come back Walk away dear stupid heart Walk away just ripped apart. Walk away just walk away Though you’ll never know what to get through along the way Even though forgetting will be the hardest thing to do But saving you from the deepest well you get into. So walk away coz it’s the best thing to do… Walk away so far away….

Days passed without the glimpse of you Wondering how you’ve been or do I missed you I don’t exactly know what I’m feeling Sometimes thinking the absence could be helping. Am I still longing or just still dreaming The insanity that could be forbidding Trying to drain my thoughts of your existence Wanted to let go off the feeling that so intense. I should never love you this way Though my heart could not paved away I still can’t believe it could happened But the pain is real and will take time to mend.

“SLEEP…for others: A form of rest, a routine, refreshment, a quiet moment for the mind and body, or perhaps a hobby. But Psychology tells us that: It is one of the most common forms of ESCAPE...from loneliness, sadness, frustrations, rejections and from almost any problem possible. So next time when a friend frequently sleeps, Say: “if you need someone to talk to, I’m just here. I’ll listen.” Rather than saying: “sweet dreams”. There are times that I wish I could sleep more…or wishing that when I fall asleep, I won’t be able to wake up again. I know it’s a bad thinking but sometimes I do really wish I could sleep forever so that I won’t be able to think again. I’m tired of thinking because I don’t know what to think anymore. I am afraid that I will come to a point of losing my sanity because of thinking too much…I guess I rather die than going crazy. I just want to sleep and not to feel anything anymore. I don’t want to feel the emptiness that covers my whole being. How could I...

My heart is in trouble It’s going to explode any minute It’s hard to explain what I’m feeling I don’t even know where it’s leading. It’s more than stupidity Much even more than craziness This is all beyond my limit I’m more than hurting I have to admit. My mind is disrupting too much thinking It’s overflowing, nearly breaking I don’t want to think anymore There’ll be nothing in store.